Who am I as someone who has debt for the first time? Who am I as someone who has enough money to invest? Who am I as someone who's bought my own home? Who am I, cash and close relationships with loved ones? Who am I as somebody of faith and
somebody with cash? Right? There is so much identity stuff here.
Around mutilation or bodily invasion, fears there could be worries about getting sick and not
having enough money to take care of themselves or loved ones. Another fear could be what
legacy I am leaving when I'm gone. That could also potentially be due to fear of extinction.
Another fear here around mutilation or bodily invasion is tall poppy syndrome, which is
something that is-- I think you Australians know about this.
The myth is, don't be the tall poppy that stands out in the field because you'll be the first to
be cut down. So, in other words, if you do too well, something terrible will happen to
you. And while that's-- no one's going to be cut down in a field, the brain can't
differentiate between real and imagined. So, someone worried about standing out and
getting cut down is having the physical experience of I'm going to get cut in their
body.
Let's look at the loss of autonomy. So, I fear I'll have to ask my parents, spouse, and
boss for money or a loan. Other people can have that or afford that, but I can't. Feeling
helpless, powerless, like a victim of their circumstance instead of the creator of
what they want, feeling like I can't take care of myself or won't be able to get what they need, I'll be trapped.
And then, fears might show up around separation, abandonment, or rejection, like if I ask for a raise, they'll say no. This is a huge one. People won't accept or love me if I have more than they do. People won't accept or love me if I have more than they do. This is something
that people worry about when they're building a business. Maybe their spouse or partner has always been the breadwinner. And now, if I am building the business, I will start to make
more money, and now I've made $100,000 or $200,000. Oh, my gosh. What happens to the
dynamics of our relationship?
What if you could make a lot of money and have your relationship, and maybe it's
better than before? Another fear that will come up around separation,
abandonment, or rejection is what they will think of me if-- insert the blank. What will they
think of me, no matter what?
And then another one here-- so let's go to humiliation-- is fear of making mistakes with
money. If I make a mistake, I will be so embarrassed and humiliated. That's too much.
That's too expensive. I can't. I'm not worth that. There might be someone with this fear
leading to binge buying to avoid the fear of missing out on what makes me feel good enough.
When I went through coaching, I discovered I feared risk when it came to financials. I do not take risks with money and play it safe because I do not want to risk any gain I have achieved. This goes back to my childhood because it was a struggle for everything. I do not want to risk anything today and return to where I was as a child. I thought I was making smart financial moves all this time, but I was afraid.

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