top of page

Change Your Thoughts and Change Your Health

Writer's picture: carey fraziercarey frazier



The Power of reframing your thoughts.

What are some examples of reframes? You can reframe a problem as an

opportunity, a weakness as a strength, an impossibility as a distant possibility,

a distant possibility as a mere possibility, oppression against me as neutral--

doesn't care about me-- or even positive-- for me-- unkindness as a lack of

understanding.


So, here's an example of a reframe. Consider the word discipline. For many

people, that word has a negative connotation. I don't have any discipline. I

should have more discipline. But if you reframe the word as a variation on

disciple, committing to carrying yourself daily becomes the gift of

being a disciple of yourself. It's so beautiful, right? Different meaning

then. And you know what you need? More discipline.


I was coaching someone one day-- a woman named Jocelyn-- and somehow,

this reframe came up. She was a Christian woman. Becoming

a disciple for herself for 90 days helped her stick to the program and

created much more depth and meaning. And we ended up changing

the word discipline to bliss-ipline. It was the bliss of following through. The

bliss of becoming a disciple of herself as a child of God. So beautiful, right?

So, reframing is a potent tool in coaching. The meaning of an

event depends on how we frame it. When we change the frame, we change

the meaning. And when we change the meaning, we change responses and

behaviors.


Here are two other examples. If someone goes to a party dressed

as a skeleton, then the meaning is different, depending on whether it's

Halloween or a funeral. When someone slips on a banana, if I am watching, I

might laugh. But if I'm the one who slipped, I might be embarrassed.

Responses are different, depending on the frame. Reframing is

a powerful coaching technique, so I use it often. Reframing is

grounded in the following paradigm-- all behaviors have a positive intention.

When we apply that to health and wellness, we can consider that all diseases,

conditions, or behaviors are not our enemies but our allies. They are a

powerful call for change and a catalyst for change. If it didn't hurt, we

probably wouldn't be motivated to make it essential to change. It would be

so easy to put it off till tomorrow, right?


I remember from Popeye, years ago-- some of you might be too young. But

there was a character in the Popeye cartoon that said, I'll gladly pay you one

Tuesday for a hamburger today. We don't want to pay for something if we

don't have to. Nobody wants to change if they don't have to or if

they can put it off till another day. So, the positive intention in diseases,

conditions, and behaviors is to catalyze change, prioritize health, and take

better care of ourselves.


It can feel like a terrible thing when someone gets sick. This is not to

disrespect, belittle, or minimize anyone who has suffered pain or illness.

This is to demonstrate the power of perspective. On the one hand, it's

something terrible. On the other hand, it can be an excellent catalyst. With a

bit of reframing, I've had clients realize that their illnesses were both the worst

and the best thing that ever happened to them. And they begin to laugh

hysterically at the truth of that.


So, if all behaviors have a positive intention, then when you apply that more

specifically to health, the reframe might sound like this-- every symptom,

craving, or behavior around food, has a positive intention. This is powerful

because symptoms and cravings are usually thought of as bad things that I

I want to get rid of it.


But in this reframe, symptoms, cravings, and behaviors are not the problem.

They are just the best solution you've come up with so far. They're a

messenger that's asking you to seek a new solution. In other words, cravings

have an essential message for us. They are trying to get our attention.

And we've never learned how to listen to our body's language or

feedback mechanism properly.


So, when it comes to behaviors, even the ones you hate or that drive you

crazy, there is a positive intention. Here's another reframe. Every act is an act

of love or a cry for love. Every act is an act of love or a cry for love, even

overeating. No exceptions. Yes, it's true. We're attempting to love ourselves

or to cry out for love. We may not have a better way to do it than overeating.


So, this horrible problem of overeating-- it's not necessarily an overeating

problem, after all. It might be an underlying problem. We can reframe all

kinds of health conditions using this framework. Let's look at some reframes

specifically for weight loss.


Weight loss is about more than just numbers. It's about more than just

calories in calories out. It's more than getting on a scale or going to the

gym. According to Marc David, author of The Slow Down Diet, weight loss is

the intersection of science, culture, spirituality, aesthetics, psychology, and

sexuality. It's a complex and rich subject. If we were to consider possible

reframes for weight loss, we might consider that excess weight is creativity

waiting to be released. But there are ways that when we don't feel good in

our bodies or even think of weight as energy, weight is excess

creativity. It's energy waiting to be released-- creative potential.

Excess weight blocks personal power when looking for expression. So, if

something that has been choked back that's looking for expression but

doesn't know how, so subverted to food. It could be an expression of career,

expression in love relationships, expression in our environment or home,

expression in our finances.


And then this one-- excess weight is asking you to own it because you can't

lose what you don't own. So, what excess weight might ask you to do is own it.

Own yourself and embody yourself completely-- without trying

to cut off, negate, dim, fade, hide parts-- now every pound and thoroughly enjoying

the experience of being alive and the privilege of having a body. Only when

you can do that will that excess weight naturally be released. You've

got to own it to lose it. You can't lose what you don't own.


Otherwise, we're at war with ourselves. And when we're at war, stress

chemicals in the body are firing off constantly. And what does that do to our

metabolism? Slows it down. What does that do to fat storage? Revs it up. The

body holds onto fat, and it becomes challenging to lose weight. So, own

it. Love it.


Now, let's look at a reframe for another common health concern-- fatigue. If

every behavior or symptom has a positive intention, you can help reframe

fatigue by asking what you need or why you might

need fatigue at this time in your life. In other words, what's the positive

intention of fatigue at this time in your life? What might fatigue want for you?

What might it be in service of?


Perhaps you won't allow yourself to rest, take breaks, or take

vacations. Maybe you feel compelled to take care of others all the time, but it

doesn't allow you to take care of yourself. Maybe you're miserable at your job,

but push yourself hard because you don't know how else you'll make money

to support your family. Notice that you know there isn't enough to experience

what you want emotionally or energetically in these situations.


Fatigue is a physical manifestation of an emotional fear or lack of belief in

lack, whether it's not enough money, not enough time, not enough of people

who take responsibility for themselves, do not have enough opportunities or possibilities,

or faith. Because you know that the client is being given a powerful doorway

for transformation.


Let's look at one more example of how to reframe a common health concern

many of you will have: digestive issues. Did you know

that digestive aids are the number one over-the-counter category of

medication? Fascinating. The most common digestive complaints are gas and

bloating, IBS with constipation or diarrhea, heartburn or GERD, which is

Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, heaviness in the gut, or stomach aches after

meals.


Consider that digestive issues may directly manifest how you are

or aren't digesting life. Think about it. Digestion is the most intimate exchange

with the outside world. We transform the external environment

into our cells, blood, organs, and tissues. In a sense, your digestive power

reflects how fully we digest and absorb all of life. It is your comfort in the world, sense of belonging, safety, and

boundaries.


For example, you have a leaky gut, a physical manifestation of

weak boundaries. I didn't say that you are weak. I said weak boundaries. If

you aren't familiar with leaky gut, it's the informal term for increased intestinal

permeability. When tight junctions in the gut, which control what passes

through the lining of the small intestine, don't work correctly, food substances

are leaked into the bloodstream, causing inflammation, allergic reactions,

headaches, and other health challenges.


I know this because I suffered from a leaky gut. So, where you are supposed

to have a robust and integral boundary between yourself and the outside world,

it's weakened and leaky. Where else might this be reflected in his life? This is a

high-mileage question because the way you do one thing is the way you do

anything. So where else might loose boundaries be reflected in his life?


You can always collaborate with a clinical nutritionist or a functional doctor,

or a naturopath to treat leaky gut or any other digestive challenge with lab

tests, prescriptions, or supplementation. However, it's essential to know that

my job as a masterful coach is to help strengthen your boundaries

and to help you reframe your digestion and absorption of life as safe and

empowered instead of dangerous.


One question we might ask is, what is it in your life that you can't stomach

right now? Ultimately, all diseases, conditions, and behaviors are signs that

something in our life asks for a different strategy. No matter the

health condition, we must start the healing process by accepting all parts of

ourselves and seeing the healing process as a portal to transformation versus

getting rid of it, eradicating it, or attempting extermination.

So, I hear clients say, I need to eliminate this weight. I

need to get rid of this fatigue. I need to get rid of this stomach problem. If

you think that some part of you must be cut off, as if it doesn't have a right to

be loved, tended to, or needs to be punished, then you'll take actions or

behaviors against that part of yourself, and that will keep unwanted behaviors

in place. You cannot heal if you are at war with yourself.

2 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page